Do We Wait for Change?

Often people make the comment “A person first has to WANT to quit [change] their habits”, referring to smoking, drinking, drug use, gambling, eating unhealthy, etc.

What do you think? Do we wait for change? Do we wait for ourselves, our loved ones, or even our patients (depending on who in your life needs change), to announce they now WANT to change before seeking help to make those life changes?

My answer is this… No. Often people are brought to counseling for addictions by loved ones or even by the law. Are these people then thinking “oh now I WANT to change”? No. More than likely they are feeling resentment for even being asked to make a change.


So now what? Well, that’s my job! A good therapist will work with the individual to help them with change regardless of what the change stage may be. The precontemplation stage of change is still a stage of change. There is no predetermined time frame for the progression of change; it is only the individual’s own experience with TIME.

Charlotte M. Test, N.D., M.A., CAADC

“You are not a helpless victim of your own thoughts, but rather a master of your own mind.” – Louise Hay


Find the Silver Lining

Positive Reframing:SilverLining

What is the silver lining in your situation?

What is the best thing you did for yourself today?

What did you enjoy the most about this week so far?

Every cloud has a silver lining if you look hard enough. Do you purposely look for the silver lining when your life is difficult and overwhelming?  I honestly don’t know how I’d get through each day without finding the silver lining.  Those of you who know me well enough may wonder that yourself.  The answer is Positive Reframing. As someone who coaches others to well-being, this is vital in our conversation.  In my personal life, this is vital as well.  How about you?  Do you know how to find the silver lining?

What IS empathy?

What IS empathy?BlossomNJustineBW

An emotion you feel?
A state of being?
Something you do?
What IS it?

Empathy is actually all of these things and more…

Think of a time you were in a room full of people, maybe a party, and an emotion came over you for no apparent reason that you had not been feeling just a moment ago.  Maybe it was sadness or a bit of agitation.  You then noticed someone new had come into the room, maybe a friend or someone you never met before.  You realize that the person has the slightest hint of a look on their face that mirrors how you feel.  This is empathy.

Now think of a time a you witness an accident, a house fire, or maybe even a time that you some other catastrophic event on T.V.  Even though you had not experienced the trauma, you felt as if you had.  Sympathy and compassion were only part of it, because you felt the trauma even on a physical level and believed you knew what to do in that situation as if you lived it.  OR maybe you remember a time when someone came to you that had experienced something exciting that happened to them.  Even before they began telling what brought them great joy, you felt a sharing of the joy.  This is empathy.

Now again, think of a time that someone came to you that had experienced something traumatic, and even though this same trauma had not happened to you, you were able to share in their pain.  Maybe you cried or your face reflected their suffering and your understanding.  And in the next very moment, you noticed that your friend seemed to be suffering a bit less, their pain did not seem quite so intense, simply because you understood…

This IS Empathy

Charlotte Test

If you are interested in further exploration of empathy, please feel free to visit my blog site: Implicate Spirit
Here Empathy is taken to much deeper levels.

Mending the Web

I wrote this piece as an inspirational post during our break in the School of Empath Psychology where I am a teacher of the Dreamtongue course for development of Empath awareness and also a student of the Psychology of Energy course.  I wanted to share it here for it’s value in coaching people to well-being.  Being well does not only involve your physical well-being.  It involves your mental, social, emotional, and spiritual well-being too.  In reading “Mending the Web”, how do you find it relates to you?  Please share your thoughts or just enjoy the message.  It’s entirely up to you! 🙂


Mending the Web

A creation like no other, yet like all others
The strands of the web are an amazing thing
The connection of each strand radiates outward
Further apart yet maintaining strength and integrity
While close to the center they get the attention they deserve
What of those strands that are damaged beyond repair
Do we pluck them away leaving a vacant space
Or do we mend and mend until the connection is restored
Or do we replace them with new ones even better than before
Like the woven web of a spider, are the connections we form
Just as the spider, we can choose to mend broken strands
We can choose to replace them
or choose to let them go…
Charlotte Test
School of Empath Psychology
Certified Dreamtongue Teacher
The Book of Storms Series